|art by Erin Hancox|
Death changes people.
Either it tightens you up as you try to create an impermeable boundary so that Death can never find its way to you again or it loosens you to a place of acceptance.
(and yes, there, too, lie places in between)
Tightened folks find that fear and anxiety become their bedfellows.
The hyper-vigilance your system practices to keep Death away wreaks havoc with many areas of your living-- physical, emotional and relationships.
Loosened folks hold hands with Death.
No, it doesn't mean those walking hand and hand with Death are more emotionally affected or constantly walking within a cloud of grief.
Typing as one dear relative is dying, after just receiving word of a sudden accidental death of one gone too soon, while one of my best friends acknowledges her daughter's (who has been on the other side for 10 years) 30th birthday, while also still holding my loves in my heart-- how can I tighten and lock those experiences (Death) out and pretend to be living a full life?
No, you don't have to open to Death.
You also do not have to worry that those who do open to Death are mired in the morose and are despondent.
Holding hands with Death and Grief simply acknowledges the full spectrum of Life.
The more we allow conversations about our experiences with Death, the better we are able help create a death-positive culture for our children.
Don't worry about those who walk this type of walk of opening to Death with their work in the world; they are living fully.
Happiness brings light.
Life, for me, is about living the full spectrum and understanding that the love and learning from "the beyond" is with us on our daily walk.