Monday, March 23, 2020

a dose of medicine for you

My gift to you.

Your reactions to all of the mixed messages and confusing information our there about the Covid-19 crisis is so very understandable.

While we could wax lyrical about various leadership critical errors or slow responses all we really have is this moment right here.

This one.

The moment where you are reading this message.

Admittedly after the explosion of cases my reaction was one of paralysis. Simply absorbing the magnitude of the situation. Having repeated family meetings about how, based on the trends and research and expert opinion, we were going to move forward in this world shaking process.

We made some decisions that were a bit out of the box: took out 15 year out of high school prior to any suggestions to do so (and he promptly exhibited some viral symptoms the next day along w/ receiving messages of rampant flu like symptoms at his school); we've been practicing physical distancing for over a week . . .

Evidence shows us all we need to physically distance ourselves from each other.

We need to be kind.

We need to find other ways of connection.

We need to take care of ourselves.

I've recorded this bonus episode "Calm in the Time of Corona" where you will find 30 minutes of soothing elixir that (I promise) will introduce you to some super easy techniques for optimal mind-body-spirit health that will facilitate increased resilience & coping during these trying times.

Please take a moment.

Take a break.

Put on your headphones.

And know that it was made with love and compassion and every hope that we will each find the inner resilience and longevity we need to get through this long strange trip. (It's basically a virtual session with me)

And please, if you know anyone who is struggling to cope and also in the name of being proactive and not reactive-- feel free to share.

(the content of this episdoe is rational and science based and being recommended by a MD, Masters of Public Health who is immersed in this covid19 pandemic trends and research-- this isn't fluff, please listen)

Much love and all things good--
Becky


Tuesday, February 25, 2020

a story of infant loss

Losing a child to Death is a parent's worst nightmare.

Chris Frazier tells the story of a prenatal diagnosis and the eventual death of her lovely baby, Emily Elizabeth.

As tragic as this story is, listen to this mother's ability to find the miracles that occurred during Emily's short life.

We don't always hear open stories of infant loss and the conversations I have had convince me that mourning parents find connection and peace by hearing others stories of loss.

There is healing in not feeling so isolated in your loss.

If you know someone who has suffered infant loss, I highly recommend you share this beautiful episode with them.


Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Death Walking: the most intimate walk of our lives


The DeathTalker journey I am on was very inspired by Zenith Virago, Deathwalker a renowned voice of natural death care and the aftermath.

A documentary based on her work, watching Zen and the Art of Dying, informed me so fully that when my dear brother died, a month later, I was able to confidently suggest to my lovely sister in law that that we could consider keeping him home where we had taken care of him and he died. Our family experienced something that made his tragic Death, as a pillar in our family, into a celebration of him and connectedness with each other which I know made him proud. 

You can read about the natural death and care experiences with my brother, and 10 months later with my mother, HERE where I shared deeply for a several post series on both of their deaths.

Synchronistically, this past October I was fortunate enough to attend a three day DeathWalker training with Zen in Auckland. It was deep and wide.

Here is a lovely conversation with Zenith that covers so very much from child loss to people taking their own lives to recommendations for us all at times of death and more.

Do yourself a favour and listen to this beautiful chat with one of the world's leading voices of natural death care.


Monday, January 27, 2020

Reimagining Grief: Lisa Keefauver

This podcast episode is typical and atypical.

No two stories are the same. 

In this one we hear the tender tale of a young wife and mother who lies by her husband the last night of his life, knowing he is dying. 

You hear how her husband not immediately dying, after being taken off of life support, became a gift she could have never imagined.

As Lisa, a social worker, therapist, CEO of Reimagining Grief & Podcast Host Grief is a Sneaky B!tch, reminds us– our stories of loss aren't absolutely unique; loss will come to 100% of us.

Each of the stories on our podcast are distinct, however, because they hold a person, a love and unique circumstances that have a fingerprint–a heartprint– if you will, of their own.

A person and a love that will never be replicated on this planet.

Lisa digs into the depths of this love story– this death story– and the telling has affected her so much she has written a piece published on Medium since our conversation.

Find Lisa's work at reimagininggrief.com . Listen to her podcast–Grief is a Sneaky B!tch on all of your favorite platforms-- she is on a similar mission as us. Look up Reimagining Grief on Instagram and Facebook.

Here's a quick link to Lisa's story:


Tuesday, January 21, 2020

infinite connection

so blessed to have my mama with me the last two years of her life
Recently I threw out the question-- have you ever felt you've had contact with someone from the beyond.

The responses were overwhelmingly positive. 


Much like Death, after-death communication is another area that many people feel afraid to openly discuss. It's an area that I've always been intrigued about but more so after my experience of my father's contact after he died when I was 22. My mother, brother and I had an experience and I also had a strong visitation dream. 


For me, the topic of afterlife went from a flirtation to a deep knowing.  


Energy does not die.



Einstein — 'Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.'


One thing I've embraced on this journey of life is "the great mystery." 

Don't get me wrong. I have a knowing; deeply sensing the truth within a vast array of teachings. 

If I mire myself in too many teachings and stay in my head with those, I lose touch of the magical cord that links from my heart right into the Divine.

I've learned to trust a deep sense of resonation when it happens.

I've also moved way past Death Anxiety and into a liminal space that walks with one foot on the other side, without need for absolutes.

One day I will share with you what happened with my mother at her very last breath which was a miracle in how it bridged from her fundamental Christian convictions into all things.  

My loss is so eased when I can move into that moment. 

Most of the listeners of The Death Dialogues Project Podcast know that one area of their stories I love to hear are the experiences they may have had where they have felt connection to their deceased loved one. 

Imagine my excitement when renowned Medium Rebecca Rosen agreed to be on our podcast?  She has published books had TV shows, talked with Oprah and all sorts of "biggies." Bless her heart for making space from her busy schedule to join us!

Keep those stories of connection to the beyond coming in.

And take a listen. 

Below you'll see the story I referred to re. the first connection with my deceased father as well as the AMAZING conversation with Medium Rebecca Rosen.

I've just finished Rebecca's book Spirited and can't recommend it enough; full of so many beautiful accounts and a practical guide to keep our channels of love to the beyond wide open. And those of you that feel this topic might not gel with your religious belief system; I suggest you give it a try as it incorporates your God all within the teachings.  

Enjoy!

All things good,

Becky 







Monday, January 13, 2020

a letter to the beyond: three years gone

On the job: My Teacher

Three years have passed since I've been in your physical presence, heard your voice on the phone, gotten an email from you.

So many times I go back to your "knowing" about your premature death. 

Your hunch. 

Men in our family die early, you said.

Nah, please think positive. Look how old mom is. You'll have a long life.

You laughed, Well don't think you're immune; you are from the same gene pool. 

(thanks bro)

A mere half a year later you call me and ask me to keep your confidence, sharing concern about your memory. 

That was our last extended lucid conversation.

God, I miss our talks.

So very many people will be thinking of you today. 

Who else could have been considered a "best friend" by so many people?
  
The premature death conversation occurred right before this photo was taken on his trip to New Zealand. Photo taken by one of my BFF's whose daughter had taken her life when she was 19, but is so full of love and light. He sobbed as we left her, so touched by her story and the way she walked in the world and the loving connection he felt.
No one can compare their level of loss or grief with anyone else– each is so utterly unique. 

Prior to your departure, when I had ever considered Death visiting our family, I had always breathed a sigh of relief knowing you and I would grow old together and your grace would guide me.

Together we would comfort and care for and then dismantle and sort what was left behind of our mother. 

Together.

Imagine the intenseness of your absence, having to walk that terrain with our mother a mere ten months after your departure (although there were many times I perceived your ethereal support). 

Three years or three lifetimes; it feels like forever. 

A huge piece of me went with you. 

Thank you for teaching me full-spectrum-living: 
  • to question and not settle
  • to feel all the feelings– deep and wide 
  • to stop, pause and do the right thing
  • to be brave and bold, tuning into my inner compass 
  • to walk through the fires of fear and explore with an open mind and heart
  • to be a justice seeker
  • to love with abandon– even if it means indescribable pain 
  • to turn heartbreak into hallowed ground
  • that divinity lies within– just around the corner from grace 
  • and for showing me that talking, processing, feeling and talking some more beats the shit out of childhood trauma  
  • teaching me, by your actions, that men could be kind, helpful, listeners and great talkers; that all men did not spew aggressive rage––not that I didn't require a "talking to" now and again, but as with most everything, you chose compassion and that taught me to do my best to do the same 
Thank you for being my first and best Teacher as I send you so much love today and every day.

                                         *                      *                    *

My brother could have written this song; it reminds my family of him:



Monday, January 6, 2020

do we stay or do we go now



Hello you.

Peeking out on the other side of 2019.

Was the last decade kind to you?

Did it bring deep love?

Did you experience deep loss?

The Death Dialogues Project was born out of a lifelong "knowing" that denying Death's inevitability was not a healthy dynamic and, after working with Death, seeing the need for people to become more empowered about their own experiences.

Here we are.

We said we'd give the podcast a year and if there wasn't interest we'd drop it.

And my own personal payment-- if we help one person a day? AMAZING.

Thousands of people have listened and so many people have given feedback about how they have been helped by our podcast and resources and productions and presence.

Here's a wee podcast update as we go into our new year. See what we decided.

All things good,
Becky