Wednesday, April 14, 2021

how story heals: try this one

I'm starting to say this frequently, but when Miriam contacted me about being on the podcast, my gut felt a deep since of resonance as I read her story. As if our connection was meant to be.

There's something about when someone else's love and loss and grief stems from similar relationships that greet my heart in a way that feels like a huge exhale and a yes, this person speaks my language; they know the terrain I come from.

This story of a brother and mother, the sole members of her family, dying within a year, and how Miriam's deep sense of loss and grief were able to be put into creativity and connection is a story everyone can benefit from hearing: the full spectrum of it all. The possiblity of being fully open to the depths of how grief will have its way with us and also gently being opened in a powerfully transformative way and growing something from that loss.

I say that listening to these stories will make you a better human and I 100% stand behind that. We come from a lengthy time of programming to limit our exposure death which, in turn, leaves us inept to have the capacity to sit with people during and in the aftermath of death. And ourselves. 

Engage with these stories. Hit pause when and if you need to. And know that by listening to this intimate exposure into people's deepest stories you are teaching yourself how to be fully present for yourself and others; your avoidance impulse will gradually dissolve. That is a gift that keeps on giving. 

A reminder: I have psychological training and a long career in clinical counselling and therapy. Listening to these stories is, in fact, a form of exposure therapy. And the primary therapy for a fear, as most have for death, is exposure. These stories can heal.

Thanks for being here and thank you for listening.