You can read reviews of Death and its Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Beautiful Lessons: field notes from The Death Dialogues Project HERE


"This podcast was like a beacon of light when I needed it most and continues to illuminate my life. Becky has created a way for people to talk and think about death, loss and grieving. And although it is something that each of us will do, it is not an area we usually talk about. Which leads to isolation and loneliness . . ."

"I love how real these episodes are . . ."

"Sensitive and thought provoking content-- so great to have open dialogue around death, grieving and the aftermath. Bravo. Can't wait to hear more."

"This podcast is proof that there are people out there who want to talk about the things that no one (seems to) want to talk about. Thank you for bringing these historically "hush-hush" conversations out into the open."

"I have had the privilege of being interviewed by Becky of The Death Dialogues Project and can tell you that her inquiry is extraordinary and in-depth. I felt supported and I loved her curiosity. This podcast will fearlessly open the dialogue around death, dying and loss. No stone unturned. Take a listen. You will appreciate Death and Life much more . . ."

"I really enjoy listening to these and hearing different people's perspectives and circumstances of grief. Becky does a great job guiding the conversation and is so calm it's almost meditative to listen to."

"This podcast has helped me address the many varied feelings associated with grief after the death of a loved one. We all experience death and loss in our lives and our culture seems to have really difficult time talking about it which leaves the sufferer feeling alone and confused. This podcast is the remedy!"

"I'm glad to see more discussion about grief. Thanks!" 


Just a few of the many supportive comments from our debut production-- November 2018: 

“Just wanted to say this was such a beautiful, powerful Dialogue to come to… The reality, the uniqueness of the story. The openness, the love and sacredness of space. To be able to freely listen to the story of grief. I feel there has not been an open acceptable space to speak in regarding my own grief and feel this is a beautiful space. Thank you for providing the space forum, and the bravery.” 

“Thank you for daring- you all made it feel so comfortable to hear and talk about death in a warm, loving, friendly place. Do more!” 

"WOW!!! Thank you thank you thank you and THANK YOU. One of the most amazing touching moving and incredibly beautiful experiences I have been part of!!!  . . . Keep this very touching work flowing. Namaste, thank you for sharing”

“Keep going! So much healing & doors opening & community strengthening. Xxxooo” 

“Beautiful. Powerful. Thank you!” 

“Very powerful production. The Dialogue was raw, honest, moving. The choir was such an integral part and personified community as it also added beauty harmony and in a place to be uplifted. Well done all of you. Seating well done.”

“Thank you! For sharing such a taonga. May this dialogue be the first of many. Blessings x”

“Whatever you do DON’T STOP- This powerful & uplifting work must go on!! I think its reach goes beyond our own imaginations and has the healing potential to make New Zealand & beyond a more heart led, compassionate & community led place. So much multigenerational healing yet to do. BRAVO !!” 

“Powerful. Moving. A blessing in action. This first telling of tender story shows verbatim theatre at it’s best. It called the audience to witness, hold and love. This precious reading was held within a space intentionally created to support all who were there. Death came out of the closet last night and it was beautiful.”

"It brought tears to my eyes, opened my heart, brought me to a place about death being a bringer of gifts…. Gifts so profound and deeply met… that I was able to see my own grief as an opportunity to birth into a new reality of myself. What a moving dialogue… An important and beautiful story of Love, death, messages from beyond. The sharing of those raw emotions …Made me feel supported in my faith about the process of dying being personal, natural and enlightening in every way. Thank you so much <3 I look forward with anticipation to the future shows of this beautiful work <3” 

“It is so uplifting to see such care and respect around stories of loss. This truly is a way to bring life and hope to death.”   

“Warm, cozy, participative, moving, educating, community, supportive, enlightening, loving. Grief as expressed, genuinely and creatively.

feedback from April 2019 evening of stories 1.0

  • Being a part of The Death Dialogues 1.0 was so much more than I anticipated. It was a journey into terrain not often walked and my story took side roads I didn't even know were there. Becky gave us our heads. By that I mean she created a container for us to explore these deep experiences and express them in our own way. She gently guided us where needed but trusted in each of us to deliver. Amazing really. By the time we performed it somehow seemed like the most natural thing to do. To get on stage and tell our stories. I've had overwhelming feedback from the contribution we have given to the audience. People have described  feeling exultant and surprisingly free. The bond with my fellow storytellers & Becky will be lifelong. This has been a significant dialogue. -- a1.0 storyteller
  • Thank you so much Becky for creating the time and space for all this heart opening, transformative work. It's been a privilege to journey with you and other brave courageous souls in this work. SoSo much love in this project. Thank you for showing me the road beyond . . .      --a 1.0 storyteller
  • The death dialogues 1.0, being part of this experience as a storyteller was a profound, I want to thank Becky for trusting and allowing me to express myself just as I needed to, to convey my grief, pain and loss, of my loved ones in a public space. I will remember this experience forever, and was glad to be able to share this experience with these beautiful women who also had the courage to bring forth their stories of their loved ones. I have been told, that sharing these stories around grief, death and pain is important and needed. Becky, you made the evening so beautiful and honouring, a created a safe space. I will always be able to reconnect to this evening of story telling through the song "Sanctuary" Eliza Gilkyson, and a sisterhood has been created with my fellow storytellers, which will be life long. Thank you, for allowing this journey Becky.-- a 1.0 storyteller 
  • When members of a community develop an ability to listen to and then talk about the hard parts of life such as dying, death and bereavement it grows stronger and is able to operate more empathetically and cohesively; this is what the Death Dialogues project is enabling. Furthermore because it is a community seated and created movement it connects fluidly and dynamically. I view Whangarei as a safer and richer place for having this within our midst and am personally growing through engaging with it. The venues of the Captain Bougaville Theatre and 116 Bank Street provide special intimacy.
  • I never expected that spending an evening listening to stories about death would be so uplifting. Thank you for creating such a beautiful space and thank you to the women who shared their personal stories of grief and loss with such honesty, tenderness and humour. I felt a powerful connection to them all and to the others who were in the room. It made me realise that we are, of course, all in this life and death journey together and reaching that awareness brings strength and all good things. Bless you in this work I can’t wait to see more.
  • My goodness, what an incredible evening last night. I was so in awe of each and everyone of you brave souls and my heart ached too. I am so grateful for what you all shared, which inspired me to go to my own grief. Congratulations on creating something so beautiful with such integrity, authenticity, pain, love, healing. What an incredible project. Thank you. I did not get to sign up for things but am definitely interested and will follow here. Thank you. Hope you all get to have nurturing and nourishing. Grateful you are together. With love and gratitude.
  • This really landed for me, each unique, its own. The space is good because it is our community space and this helps us use it differently. 
  • amazing work  . . .  this is for al of us and our community. w.w.m.d. xxx
  • Thank you for your generosity, open hearts and bravery. It was a privilege to walk alongside you this evening. x
  • Awesome & carthartic.
  • Thank you for sharing your hearts with mine. Arohanui
  • Thank you for a wonderful evening of sharing, love and hope.
  • Once again Becky-- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for the touching work that you do and creating the beautiful ripple effect of love sharing with empathy and compassion.
  • What a contrast and beautiful tapestry of spoken stories. . .  Keep going strong.
  • Compelling! Thank you. All of you!!!
  • Outstanding. Thank you all for sharing and caring. Arohanui.x
  • Thank you so much for your courage and love. xx
  • So brave. Loved the set, the format the music.
  • Incredible. Wonderful. Powerful. Thank you. I loved it. xx
  • Incredible touching evening. Thank you for sharing. 
  • Kia Ora What an amazing evening spent, thank you so much for the newsletter, which I am now subscribing to. It was a moving experience to meet and hear the women's personal and moving experiences of death in such a powerful setting. I so appreciate the opportunity to explore with others our lives in an honoring meaningful and creative way, while preparing for "moving on" to other dimensions. The newsletter and podcasts are wonderful, they touch the heart. Delighted to stay connected. Arohanui
  • Thank you so much for you being you and inspiring so much in so many and love how this attracts the kind of folk that can walk alongside you at this time. Magic. Thanks for such a place to have permission to be freely with death, dying, grief to rebirthing to wholeness which I am now experiencing.Thank you ladies for a night full with love.  We look forward to your next events!
  • A beautiful evening full of love
  • It was beautifully done ladies. Well done. Important to get talking about this.
  • Just want to acknowledge the mahi that went into last night... on all levels...that was some strong work!!! You are all such courageous women...and your stories of journeying are so raw to hear...but also so hopeful...and such a reminder to tread so gently with our fellow humans...we never fully know each others walks. Bravo you beautiful wahine toa
  • It was beautifully done ladies. Well done. Important to get talking about this.
  • Thank you to the wonderful story tellers of the Death Dialogues it was an amazing evening. Throughout the stories one could have heard a pin drop ...everyone was listening intently and l, for one felt emotionally transfixed as l listened with my heart to every story which left me feeling validated and honoured in terms of my own grief and loss. Highly recommended!


I was invited to attend the performance of “The Death Dialogues” at Forum North in Whangarei to provide feedback for the Director/Producer.

My name is Stuart Devenie. I have worked professionally in NZ and abroad for over 45 years in Theatre, Film, Television and Radio as a director, producer and teacher. I am currently resident in Whangarei.

My experience of “The Death Dialogues” was one of great delight and satisfaction. I had no idea of the nature or content of the presentation before I walked into the theatre and I was lost in admiration for the achievement it represented. As, I might add, was the audience I attended the performance with.

The material presented by the performers was deeply personal, moving and above all, courageous. But what was most astonishing was the level of professionalism in the presentation of the individual stories. All aspects of the production demonstrated an extraordinary control and skill. Lighting, sound, music, visuals and the melding of these into an assured rhythm of delivery, combined to provide the performers and the audience with a secure and supportive structure to transport us into these, sometimes difficult, truths which are seldom shared.

A visionary and very human evening in the Theatre.

Stuart Devenie.



Feedback re. July 2019 A Good Death Workshop

Perfect <3 Thank-you. Timely . . . and progressive as we turn back the wheel and embrace nature and our ancestral layers of dealing with death. The culmination of living. <3

THANK YOU!! Normally I would need a snooze in pm. You kept me engaged all day.

Loved the gentle and welcoming introduction to the day.  Really like the introduction to "Gentle Conversations" from Jane. Enjoyed and appreciated Jane's responses to each person's answers and/or information shared in the circle. Very affirming, welcoming and embodying that there was no wrong way to do this. Created safety.  Fantastic Workshop. Thank you so much. Good structure. Great information. Good  balance of personal and objective informations. Appreciate the resources. Great space. Appreciated the blankets.

I have lots to say, but now <3. Except thank you. Blessings-be for this beautiful body of work. <3 

Great day, lots of discussion, gentleness and openness about Death and Dying. x

Thank you so much fo helping to lift the veil and opening conversations. Congratulations on your enterprises and stepping up to the plate. 

Kia Ora Koutou,

Just a quick note to you all to give you feedback from yesterdays workshop.

Firstly thank you, a lot of work went into setting it up and all the preparation beforehand.  I greatly appreciate this opportunity.

I found the workshop really worthwhile and I am certainly happy to have come up for it.

What went well was the time frame, 10am to 4pm is a good length.

Really  important to have such a friendly and welcoming face at the door, which you did with Deb.  Being greeted really makes you feel welcome and Deb was the perfect person for the door as that warm greeting was just lovely.

Room was set up great.  It felt at full capacity and any more participants would have added length into the sharing time.  

Jo's Blessings were wonderful and important to open and close such sacred work.  Next time you may want to do a karakia before lunch to separate the tapu from the noa.  Not essential but I know that down in Tairawhiti the whole concepts around death/food are very significiant.  

But you can't please everyone, our friend the atheist wouldn't have needed that.

Really can't say anything that needs improving at all.  It worked well having the three parts to the day.  

So please accept my gratitude.  It is so wonderful to know there are woman out there doing amazing work and so great to have met you.  

Please email me the resource list - which I left behind by accident.  

I hope our paths cross again and I look forward to what the future brings for all of us.
Nga mihi

such important, kind-hearted, beautiful work  I took so much out of the workshop "A GOOD DEATH" thank you for all the input / information / inspiration and understanding!! so much food for thought 

Thank you for a great day of learning. So inspiring to attend! I'm very happy to have had the opportunity to travel to beautiful Whangarei and participate. There are some amazing woman out there in our country doing great work and bringing awareness to this part of life, death. Until next time...

Hi Jane, Becks and Jo
I just wanted to say a big thank you so much.  I am so sorry that I did not stay to help. 

The experience today was truly life changing for me in terms of the questions and hearing them.  I could tell that they would have me reflect deeply and honestly and already I will be making some decisions.  My husband and I have often said what do we really want, why wait until one of us is ill or something happens.  I can easily forget this and life moves on and so more me to be honest can get carried away with life and create a busyness that does not need to exist.  John will complete the questionnaire and we have made a date for Tuesday pm to have a chat about the answers.   Thank you.

What I really appreciated is how having such conversations and making some arrangements or making known what is preferred is an act of love, generosity and it can be so helpful for all those involved.  I will make sure that we make things as easy as possible for ourselves and anyone else.  Thank you.  I feel that is has offered John and I to have a rain check in life and make some calls and actually get to know each other a little more in the process and perhaps share with others. 

I wanted to acknowledge Becky's sharing of such a precious story and way of being.  It was an honor to see how things could be so different coming to the end of life and end of life.  Incredible.  It was incredible to witness the love, closeness and how different loved ones were involved.  To be honest I do not have the words to share what my heart feels at what we were allowed to witness and learn what is possible.  Thank you. 

I loved hearing from Jo and what is possible. I really did not have any clue and so grateful because for both of us we will be making arrangements in a very different way and it makes a difference knowing that it will be a more real and simpler process. We will not be choosing embalming and definitely some kind of vessel or shroud, not sure.  Will explore later in the week.  John loves this place and feels it is the most settled he has felt in his life here so now we may consider a funeral here!!  On going conversations to be had.  Thank you so much. So grateful to consider what is possible.  

Thanks again.  Grateful for what has been created and neat to share with others.  



Check out this article in the NZ Herald HERE

Read a review of our debut event HERE 

Find Becky's elephant journal pieces HERE

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